Porn is love you can see.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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