Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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