You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just forgot I was standing up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
