you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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