ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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