I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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