i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
