clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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