I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
