ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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