Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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