She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
