Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
