just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
