I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream