Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.