shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?