Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?