don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...