playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
