Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
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