I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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