oh god the rape fog is back!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
