I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
