She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
