New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He has the fingertips of a God
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