i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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