I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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