can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize