just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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