i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.