Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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  (510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0
  Replies (80) Good night (2838) Bad night (8263)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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  (919): Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman. http://tfl.nu/6efe
  Replies (9) Good night (3441) Bad night (833)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza

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  (314): 10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza http://tfl.nu/0z5o
  Replies (35) Good night (7335) Bad night (694)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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  (610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz
  Replies (26) Good night (6671) Bad night (1031)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...

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  (231): I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name... http://tfl.nu/p31n
  Replies (9) Good night (4497) Bad night (1142)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (44) Good night (10403) Bad night (1832)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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  (207): And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition. http://tfl.nu/ff1h
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (2568)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok

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  (386): I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok http://tfl.nu/xajl
  Replies (4) Good night (1247) Bad night (1159)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.

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  (972): Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday. http://tfl.nu/3qlk
  Replies (4) Good night (1536) Bad night (544)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?

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  (940): Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow? http://tfl.nu/gsnf
  Replies (8) Good night (1313) Bad night (394)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk

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  (248): The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk http://tfl.nu/s1mo
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (954)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

  (315): View more from New York

  Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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  (202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (322)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.

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  (412): I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again. http://tfl.nu/wa46
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (1348)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (361)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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  (540): You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going. http://tfl.nu/zi7j
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (228)

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