we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
farters have to be the big spoon...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.