Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

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  (813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/9lls
  Replies (8) Good night (614) Bad night (1619)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

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  (856): would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions. http://tfl.nu/8b19
  Replies (5) Good night (3068) Bad night (589)
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  (619): View more from California

  We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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  (619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz
  Replies (35) Good night (2127) Bad night (17915)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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  (502): so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked. http://tfl.nu/56pg
  Replies (15) Good night (663) Bad night (4521)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.

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  (832): just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno. http://tfl.nu/xrvd
  Replies (28) Good night (5790) Bad night (1173)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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  (804): My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her. http://tfl.nu/xqm6
  Replies (7) Good night (5029) Bad night (800)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married

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  (314): My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married http://tfl.nu/9bud
  Replies (11) Good night (801) Bad night (2264)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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  (907): i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet. http://tfl.nu/l2j7
  Replies (5) Good night (1665) Bad night (568)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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  (484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk
  Replies (4) Good night (4408) Bad night (722)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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  (330): Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything. (330): She kept telling me it was a squirtgun. http://tfl.nu/3tf4
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (1170)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.

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  (907): Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless. http://tfl.nu/ncqk
  Replies (9) Good night (485) Bad night (1921)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"

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  (727): How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me" http://tfl.nu/2grd
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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  (203): Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/dbv2
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.

  (1-510): View more from California

  Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume

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  (510): I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion. (1-510): Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume http://tfl.nu/f5c6
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (288)

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