Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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