I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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