I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
