Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
