Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
