He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
