she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
