Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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