What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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