ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
too bad you live with your parents still
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
