If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize