my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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