Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
