If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
pray to the hookup gods
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
