Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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