Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
