Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize