So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
do herpes really smell.
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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