Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?

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  (843): Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm? http://tfl.nu/fqw6
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (895)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

  (310): View more from California

  So you didn't like Bolt?

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  (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later. (310): So you didn't like Bolt? http://tfl.nu/dqy6
  Replies (2) Good night (3095) Bad night (597)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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  (862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7
  Replies (40) Good night (2229) Bad night (3146)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry

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  (484): Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry http://tfl.nu/lyzu
  Replies (127) Good night (5238) Bad night (1161)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8362) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who pooed in my magic bullet?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry the bathroom was being used.

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  (613): Who pooed in my magic bullet? (1-613): Sorry the bathroom was being used. http://tfl.nu/qp1c
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (4665)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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  (609): im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room http://tfl.nu/jxea
  Replies (22) Good night (808) Bad night (4284)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7382) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3338) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?

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  (650): Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user? http://tfl.nu/ik2g
  Replies (15) Good night (1304) Bad night (2544)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I miss the smell of you or some shit.

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  (408): I miss the smell of you or some shit. http://tfl.nu/h6lu
  Replies (23) Good night (3037) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1781) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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  (519): I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better http://tfl.nu/3fte
  Replies (12) Good night (1272) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"

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  (250): I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast" http://tfl.nu/5ifs
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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  (225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (352)

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