Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk