Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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  (516): why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo? http://tfl.nu/oqag
  Replies (16) Good night (2918) Bad night (817)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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  (513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is" http://tfl.nu/c0jq
  Replies (36) Good night (1420) Bad night (4363)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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  (954): just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything http://tfl.nu/6c7y
  Replies (20) Good night (4056) Bad night (2065)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth

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  (419): It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth http://tfl.nu/totm
  Replies (56) Good night (6945) Bad night (1533)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  we didnt even have break up sex...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  you had it for us with someone else...

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  (816): we didnt even have break up sex... (1-816): you had it for us with someone else... http://tfl.nu/e06z
  Replies (18) Good night (2054) Bad night (6814)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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  (615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al
  Replies (8) Good night (1771) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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  (540): i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth http://tfl.nu/m5qw
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (1508)
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  (213): View more from California

  Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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  (213): Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast?? http://tfl.nu/wkuh
  Replies (25) Good night (3741) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1886) Bad night (717)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"

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  (203): If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am" http://tfl.nu/kogk
  Replies (5) Good night (741) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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  (519): I think he's speaking German to me now (519): Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly http://tfl.nu/dbru
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.

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  (306): my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets. http://tfl.nu/lsez
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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  (306): I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him. http://tfl.nu/3qpq
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success

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  (226): I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success http://tfl.nu/m6v1
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching

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  (406): You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching http://tfl.nu/fd62
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (219)

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