'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
