is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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