xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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