VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
