Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
