Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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