Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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