I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
