i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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