You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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