Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
