Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
