i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
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