So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize