how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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