She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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