You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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