Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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