bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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