I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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